CLAWville, y'all are brave, strong, beautiful people! So many of you screaming crazies came out for Hot CLAW in the Summertime on June 21, and you probably came even though you knew the weather forecast was iffy and we didn't have no tent--or, make that, we DID have no tent. TENTLESS SUMMERTIME CLAW LOVIN'. Your courage was rewarded when the torrential rain arrived AFTER the match. WOOOT! I'm a witch, y'all, so I personally would have melted? Embarrassing...!!! And y'all are generous people! We know, onaccounta we were able to give Luna Cream $1,591.oo for support of their burgeoning local bidness. That's so freakin' awesome! THANK YOU! I could spend a lot of time painting you a vivid word picture of the match goings on, or I could punt and just paste in a bunch of actual pictures. And although I am a TOTAL WORD ARTIST, Imma just rely on the photo artistry of the estimable Rich Tarbell because it's hot and the futbol's on the telly in a bit. PRIORITIES. These here were the wrasslers: Afro-Dytee won the whole shebang, the wrasslin AND the audience favorite. We're not worthy!!! Ya seen the best, now here's the rest! From top, Sarah Painlin, Sailor Doom, Ringleader, Rainbow Fright, The Decomposer, Darth Mater, and poor ole Millertime, who tricked them into letting her wrestle, but did not find the fame and lifelong glory she was magical-thinking she would. 🙁 As always, the artistry, creativity, and crazy were at extremely high levels. Thanks so, so much to all the wrasslers for puttin' it way out there! Our last match of 2014 is on Saturday, August 23 at the Blue Moon Diner at 8pm. Y'all! Y'ALL! Don't miss it!!!!!!!
Hot DAMN! It's just about that time again, ladies n' germs n' gentlewomen n' friend boys n' bitches n' shy guys n' She Ra n' fruit loops n' EVERYBUGGY! What time is that, you ask? You're only asking because you haven't been paying attention, silly. It's CLLLLAAAAAAWWWWW TIIIIIIIIME!!! Tomorrow night! June 21! Blue Moon Diner! 8 pm! Under the stars! If it's under the clouds, we'll move the whole shebang inside old skool CLAW stylee! It's gonna be hot and happenin' and high times! SEE amazing wrasslers including but not limited to: Rainbow Fright! Darth Mater! Sailor Doom! Sarah Painlin! The Decomposer! Afro-Dytee! PLUS GREAT SURPRISES!!!!!!!!!! I MIGHT ALREADY KNOW ABOUT ONE OF THEM BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU GUYS BECAUSE SOOPRIIIIIIIZE! FOR YOU, ANYWAY! I ALREADY KNOW! I KNOW STUFF! FEEL moved to give the wrasslers all your money, and by extension our June beneficiary Luna Cream! Luna Cream is a local start-up owned by a rawkin' woman entrepreneur! Luna Cream pledges to give 10% of its profits to local nonprofits! Luna Cream is creamy dreamy goodness for your skin suit! Check it!!! TASTE the delicious vittles and cold, refreshing bevvies provided by the Blue Moon Diner! SMELL... I don't know what you'll smell. I personally tend to smell my lip gloss pretty strongly on account of it's smeared on my upper lip and that is geographically right below my nose. So. SMELL whatever is right below your nose! WHAT SENSE AM I ON NOW? I have lost track! Whatever! COME OUT to the Blue Moon Diner and have a rip roaring good time because it's CLAW and it's never not the funnest! See youse there and WRISTS UP! Photo by the talented Bud Branch.
C-ville in the summah! Humidity so thick you could eat it with a spoon on top of sugared raspberries. You take a shower because you're sweaty, sweat in the shower, get out and towel off, and keep right on sweating. You stand packed into a tent of shouting spectators, watching two fully costumed crazy ladies wrassle to the pain, cold beer sweating in one hand, sweaty CLAW bucks waving in the other. Summer is GOOD TIMES, y'all! No better times than summer! No summertime's complete without your CLAWs! We CLAWs are busy preparing for Hot CLAW in the Summertime, coming up Saturday, June 21 at 8 pm at the Blue Moon Diner. We're flexing! We're smack talking! We're running up and down steps! We're resting, because it's too hot for that shit! We're drinking our electrolytes! We're hula hooping, which is so much harder for us now than it was when we were kids! We're floating on pool floats with cold glasses of iced tea hahahaha yeah right we're at work! We're strutting in front of full-length mirrors modeling our various amazing costume ensembles! We're smizing and snarling and raising the roof at ourselves! We are looking FIERCE! You do not want to miss us! You especially do not want to miss out on supporting our June beneficiary, Luna Cream! Luna Cream is all-natural skin care made with just FOUR completely recognizable organic ingredients, and packaged in recyclable material. The company, founded and run locally, makes monthly donations of 10% of its profits to community non-profits. They aim to offer a product that is mindful of the earth, and conscious of our community. Luna Cream sez, "YOU GLOW GIRL!" You can getcher VIP seats for Hot CLAW in the Summertime at jean theory: on the Downtown Mall. What ARE VIP seats, you're wondering? They are only the best way to watch a CLAW match in comfort and style! You get to SIT DOWN. You get a great VIEW. Somebody brings you DRINKS. You don't have to interact with the HOI POLLOI. Unless that's the kind of thing you LIKE TO DO, then interact away! And they're also the very best way to support the beneficiary, so toodle on down to jean theory: and buy you some! And whilst you're toodling, be sure to swing by the Blue Moon Diner before June 21 to eat some bacon and check out Rich Tarbell's show Shadowy People from a Shadowy Planet: The CLAW Silhouettes. In the words of Olon Pills, Rich's marginal alter ego, "this exhibit debuts 30 French Basquesque contour lineations aggrandizing an ensemble of muliebrous combatants." So there ya go. Sample below! See youse soon! Or else!!! Wrists up!