It's been a coupla weeks, but I, for one, am still high as a kite on life thanks to CLAW'S your mom! All our love and gratitude to an enthusiastic crowd who came out, came on strong, and gave generously! We made $1,068 smackers for the good folks at The Wayside Center for Popular Education! Whuuuuut, I KNOW!!! NOT TOO SHABBY! Our celebrity judges, Andy Deane and Tony Lechmanski of Bella Morte, plus Jim Waive, celebrity judge FER LIFE, were especially awesomesauce! You guys put the bribe in bribery! Big thanks and mad love going out to Friend Of CLAW, the fabulous photog Rich Tarbell! (All photos in this post by Rich, bien sur.) Check out his badassery-in-general! Book him for your next extremely cool music show or event! And also check out Rich's CLAW'S your mom badassery-in-particular, where through the magic of photographs you can relive the match in all its whacked-out splendor. I've done it several times. Unless I owe you some kind of deliverable, in which case I have not looked at those pictures once, even though I suspect there may be some awfully awesome ones of moi yours truly, because discipline and time non-wasting! And now I leave you with this question, Clawville... Have you taken a Kegel Break today? See youse June 21 at 8pm at the Blue Moon Diner for the next CLAW, Hot CLAW in the Summertime, and we expect lady parts of STEEL!

Here comes Mother's Day, people. And even if you conveniently proclaim it a Hallmark Holiday and thus beneath you to celebrate, like certain highly-principled-around-this-topic husband-type people I could mention, but would never actually mention in this very public forum (his name's Rob) (not really) (psych) (ROB THIS MEANS YOU) (no, no, his name isn't Rob, but he knows who he is) (and "Rob", I could use a massage), you love your mom, or your baby mama, or maybe you love them but don't always like them, or maybe you don't love OR like them, but look. Here's what's up. Moms work hard. Look at you, you're a jerk. Your mom worked SO HARD on you. And that's what your baby mama is doing too--sweatin' it out. Motherhood's not for sissies. You should be appreciating the foxy mamas in your life, and you should be letting them know it. BUT HOW. You could do flowers and brunch, but honey, it's been done. You could do a gift certificate, but yawn. You could make her some window boxes and plant them with geraniums, and actually, that would be lovely, you should do that. But just in case that doesn't appeal, you know what you should REALLY do for the mom(s) in your life? Take 'em to CLAW's your mom on Mother's Day Eve. Bring lots of singles, let Mom bet on the wrasslin', buy her a brewski and a plate of french fries, HELL YOU MIGHT EVEN SPRING FOR A CLAW TEE SHIRT. Again, look at yourself. You're a douchenozzle. Redemption is the aim. For once in your miserable life, do something for Mom she's really going to enjoy. I mean, check out this line-up of wrestlers! AMAZE! See you and her at the Blue Moon Diner at 8 pm on May 10. Wrists up!!!